The Promise, The Heart and One Single Smile
by Nokado
Summary: Since he remembered, Ichigo was always under His Majesty's wings. He could do anything for Him, even die but with The War almost at the doorstep and His Majesty's decisions... And why does 'Uryu Ishida', the Heir, seems to know him more that he does? His Majesty couldn't lie to him... Right?
1. My lonely heart calls

Inspiration from

 **ChocolateCarnival**

I just love Ichigo as 'Still Doll'.

04.11.2018

(1) Kaninchen – rabbit

* _ **cookie***_

Ichigo was sitting near the window, his hand laying flat against it, watching the world going. He took a small breath, exhaled and took another one. If he could _feel_ _anything_ , he would be _excited_ as a _dog_ waiting for his owner to come back. But no, he _forgot_ how it _felt_ to _feel_ a long time ago.

 _'How long it was?'_ He asked himself. He thought for a moment.

 _'How long it was since he was saved by His Majesty?'_

 _'How long it was since Shinigami, this horrible creatures who called themselves 'the saviors of every world', killed his mother and tried to finish him too?'_

He closed his eyes for a moment, pressing the side of his head against the cold window. Cold _almost_ as his heart since that _horrible_ accident.

 _Inhale..._

 _Exhale..._

 _And slowly repeat..._

But the memory didn't _hurt_ his heart as it _'was supposed'_ to. No, he felt _nothing_ , thanks to His Majesty.

His Savior.

His King.

Ichigo opened his eyes when he heard the door knob twist but didn't look at the person who opened it. It was probably Haschwalth since His Majesty was too busy to visit him now.

"You look troubled, Prince." Said prince turned his attention to the blonde man.

"Just a simple headache, nothing to worry about." It was really common for him: from time to time his head was _killing_ him, _only_ His Majesty was able to _shut_ it.

The other man slowly walked to him, touched his chin and lifted his head slightly forcing him to look at him.

"You are paler than usual." Haschwalth noticed. Ichigo looked into his blue eyes and said:

"And you do not look troubled by it."

"Should I be?" Ichigo moved his eyes to the closed door. "His Majesty will come back soon, he-."

"I know." Haschwalth let go, Ichigo turned his attention to the window again. "Should I go practice before The War?"

"If you wish." Haschwalth was a simple man but Ichigo wasn't _touched_ by that. No, he was _grateful_.

He took the offered hand and got up. He accepted the white coat and let the other man dress him.

"You don't look happy. Did I do something wrong?" The Prince asked the blonde man.

"No." Ichigo nodded. "Did Buzz-B say something to make you sad?"

"I can't _feel_ sadness anymore." He looked at the snow laying on the ground. "And no. The only person who _can_ make me feel _anything_ is His Majesty."

 _ ***cookie***_

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Ichigo looked at the other Quincies who were training hard to never let the King down. Some of them stopped and bowed at them but he didn't mind it at all. He didn't care about their opinion, they were going to die anyway.

But His King would be proud of them.

Soon they walked deeper into the forest, to the place where Stern Ritters could spar together.

The Prince stopped near one of the groups. He watched as their blood and sweat were staining the white snow.

"Look who decided to join us, our little prince!" Suddenly he was hugged by one of the Stern Ritters. "You should go out more, we missed-."

"Let him go, Candice-." She loose her grip but didn't let go and was leaning against him with a smile.

"C'mon, you can't say you aren't excited, Bambi!" Ichigo watched as 'Bambi', short for 'Bambietta', blushed.

Soon Candice let go of him but was still holding his wrist and was walking towards the frozen lake.

"We'll see you soon!"

 _ ***cookie***_

"Haschwalth is treating you well, right? I don't have to-."

"He's alright." I said slowly. She always treated me like an older sister would treat her younger sibling. We weren't related but it felt... _alright_ to have her around from time to time. "And you? How have you been lately?"

She blushed with a smile on her face and started telling me about things that happened, from the small things like ' _I changed my hair'_ to something more important like _'The War'_.

"You don't have to feel afraid." I stopped her monologue. "His Majesty will always protect His children."

"Of course I know that! But that stupid-."

"Don't trouble your mind with it." I looked at the fishes that were swimming under the frozen surface. "How is your training doing?"

She started talking again. After a few minutes Haschwalth came back and took me to the palace.

 _ ***cookie***_

I let the lower ranked Quincies to wash my tired body. I closed my eyes and started thinking as one of them started _gently_ massaging my shoulders.

I didn't see His Majesty whole week except for the one meeting. I was... a little bit _worried_. Of course, it wasn't the _first time_ when He hadn't had much time to spent with me but He started... _ignoring_ me lately...

I'm _not troubled_ my that, of course, He's The King, The Greatest King we could ever had and He has many things to do, of course I understood that. But I... I...

I...

Miss Him.

"Don't feel sad, Ichigo-sama." I opened my eyes. I frowned as I felt the _wetness_ from my _eyes_ , not the water from the bath I was currently having. No, it was...

My heart _skipped_ a bit. I closed my eyes trying to _stay calm_ as much as I could.

"Just... Hurry up." I said as I was counting how many times I inhaled and exhaled.

After a seventeen inhales and eighteen exhales, they dried my body off and wrapped it in a thick, soft material. I slowly left the bathroom and felt a _sting_ in my _heart_ when no one was in that room.

I sat down on bed, trying to think about His Majesty, thinking about Him always kept me calm. My fingers slowly moved to my neck where the small charm was placed by Him.

I exhaled slowly.

I _missed_ Him so much that my heart started to _ache_ again.

Trying to ignore the feeling I _shouldn't be able_ to still feel, I laid down in a soft bed, covered myself under the warm covers and closed my eyes.

But the ache _never_ stopped.

 _ ***cookie***_

At first I didn't know where I am. I couldn't open my eyes, I started _panicking_ because of the _heat_ I was feeling, almost _suffocating_ me but when I felt _that warm hand_ on my _chest_ , near my _heart_ , I calm down a bit but the _blackness_ surrounding me was stressing me out.

"Calm down, My Prince." I was too afraid to move my head towards the voice or to answer but I _tried_ to calm down. "I have to seal your emotions again, do you remember how we did it last time?" I slowly nodded but when He moved my hand, hid it under His and gently squeezed I felt the wave of calmness.

I felt my heartbeat slowing down, _slowly_. Then the calming wave of numbness, so familiar to me, came and I sighed in relief. His hand was still holding mine and when I blinked a few times, the darkness started becoming only a few small black dots which slowly were becoming _less_ and _less_ visible.

"Your Majesty..." I said with a clear _relief_ in my voice. I closed my eyes when His finger touched my lips, I slowly kissed it.

"Did you miss me?"

"Yes. I missed you really bad..." He let me slowly turn on my side and hid myself in His embrace, I breathed in His scent and my body _immediately_ relaxed. "I missed you so much..." I said grabbing His clothes. I closed my eyes, He said nothing, He didn't have to say anything.

"I apologize." I wanted to say that He didn't need to, that His presence now is _more_ than _enough_ , that I such an idiot, such an _arrogant idiot_... But I didn't need to say anything, His Majesty understood everything, _better_ than I did.

I opened my eyes and traced my fingers against His Majesty's jaw. I felt so _safe_ , I wanted to show it...

I laid my hand against His face and connected our lips, slowly, trying to show and tell everything by that simple action.

Even if I started the kiss, it wasn't me who truly controlled it. I didn't mind it, I was _grateful_ His emotions about me didn't change, I was _so afraid_ His Majesty would _replace me_ with somebody else...

"Stop thinking." He ordered and I obeyed immediately, if it wasn't Him, I would be _dead_ , I _needed_ , needed to show His my _gratefulness_.

His hand moved and rested on the back of my neck, the place where _The Mark_ He gave me was. For someone who knew _nothing_ , it was _just_ a black tattoo of a necklace from one shoulder to the other but it was something _more_ for _Us_ , for _me_ and for _Him_. It was a _promise_ of the _better life_ , of a life fulled with _love_ , _kindness_ and _gentleness_.

Just like His Majesty.

I smiled to the kiss because of that thought.

I opened my eyes which was fulled with every positive emotion I could have imagine.

He directed my head to His lips again and then to His shoulder, I laid my head there feeling so... _right_. So _peaceful_.

I almost _melted_ when He embraced me.

"My Kaninchen. (1)" _Nothing_ hurt anymore, nothing _ached_ , _nothing_ was happening.

His Majesty was slowly running His fingers through my hair, I felt so _calm_ around him...

"What made My Prince so emotional that the seal was almost broken?"

"I'm sorry..." I said feeling _embarrassed_.

He didn't comment so I moved _closer_ , searching for more _comfort_.

"Do not make me repeat myself." I closed my eyes and told Him about my _every worry_ and _fear_ , His Majesty was _the only person_ that could be so... _calming_ and He understood _everything_ , He didn't ask _unnecessary_ questions...

He touched my cheek and _slowly_ stroke it. I felt the weight disappearing from my shoulders, I suddenly felt so _tired_...

"I will wait for your arrival tomorrow. There will be a special guest for you to meet." I nodded and let myself fall into _deep_ slumber. But before that happened...

"I love you..."

 _ ***cookie***_

I woke up _alone_ but I didn't feel _lonely_. No, I felt so _loved_ that it felt like my heart was jumping from _happiness_.

Someone knocked on the door so I waited for the maids to come and dress me. They came but they weren't _alone_.

"Good morning, Haschwalth." I greeted him and nodded to the maids so they could start dressing me. I got up and I started a small talk with him. "His Majesty informed me last night that there will be someone important seeing us today."

"Yes, it is true."

"I assume that it's a 'surprise' for me so you can't tell me?" He nodded.

"His Majesty ordered me to assist you until then." I nodded again.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a classic Quincy uniform with a golden cape covering his right arm. It had a Quincy Cross on the side and one single stripe from his neck to the bottom.

It was _beautiful_.

I looked at Haschwalth.

"It is a big day for all the Stern Ritter." I simply nodded. He walked me to the dinning room where I was served with a breakfast, I grabbed the fork and _slowly_ started eating.

It was going to be a _big day_. But for _who_? For _him_? Or... for _His Majesty_? I bit my lip feeling a bit _nervous_. Was it going to be a day when he was going to...?

I shook my head. His Majesty would _never_ leave me, He already told me that.

I sighed, I didn't want to eat anymore, even if it was a really good food.

"Eat." Haschwalth said. "There is nothing to be worried about." I nodded and returned my full attention to my breakfast.

It took me a while to eat everything, cooks prepared everything what I liked, I couldn't just leave it, they would be sad...

I realized how much everyone cared about me. It was... _Nice._

 _ ***cookie***_

I would feel _nervous_ if it wasn't for a _calming_ arm draped around my shoulders.

I took a deep breath. We were waiting for every Stern Ritter to arrive, soon I would know what His Majesty was going to say. When almost the whole hall was filled with everyone and a few people I didn't know, the arm disappeared. I walked with His Majesty and Haschwalth to the center of the room and the whole room fell into silence.

His Majesty started talking to everyone. But I couldn't focus as much as I wanted to. Something was... troubling me. I hoped that no one noticed.

Then His Majesty said about His Heir, someone who will take a throne after Him. I felt eyes on me, my heart was beating so fast I didn't know how long I was going to stand there.

"I'd like to introduce you to Uryu Ishida. My Heir."

I felt like my heart stopped.


	2. The shattering memory

I just realized I didn't name it correctly. Now. After a few days. Wow...

The correct title is

 _ **"The Promise, The Heart and One Single Smile"**_

Don't worry, it is the same thing! Just being a little stupid...

Thanks for the review!

 _ ***cookie***_

If it wasn't the day's before activity with His Majesty, I would _faint_ or do something _stupid_ like that. But the familiar _numbness_ saved my honor. I watched the _shock_ on their _faces_ and some of them wanted to show their _disrespect_ and attack or do _something_ like that.

I sighed lightly. His Majesty said a few more words and His arm soon returned to my shoulders. I gave into His touch and we slowly walked to the doors. Some Stern Ritter, like Bazz-B, watched _me_ , _expected me_ to do _something_ , do _anything_ , but I walked straight, my face _emotionless_ and a _pride_ in my heart.

Because _no matter_ what happened, I was just like that _small_ rabbit waiting for its owner to feed it. And in His eyes I...

I stopped that thought and let myself _enjoy_ the little time with My Majesty.

 _ ***cookie***_

"I don't get what the hell is happening! Who is he?! Someone explain!"

"Explain...?"

"I think only His Majesty could explain..."

"Shit! I can't accept this..." I quietly listened to their conversation. "And you? Why you didn't react at all?" I looked away from him.

He _tsked_ and moved away, he jumped away from us.

"Heey! Where are you going, Bazz-B?"

"To His Majesty's place! I can't just keep quiet about this!" They tried to stop him but the only person who was successful was _Haschwalth_.

"Jugo..." I looked at the blonde haired man.

"Where are you going, Bazz-B?"

"What about you, not going anywhere?" He mocked. "You know... I was sure you'd be His Majesty's successor." Bazz-B looked at me. "Or at least him." His eyes came back at his best friend from the past.

"...It is His Majesty decision. I do not have a say in that."

"...Tsk. Coward." He took out his Quincy Cross. "You disappoint me-."

"Because His Majesty said so." Bazz-B glanced at me, _confused_. "You asked me why I 'didn't react at all'. His Majesty knows what He is doing. If you were more powerful and wiser, as you think so, then what are you doing as only "H", Bazz-B?" He looked almost _shocked_ because of my words. "Nothing to say? Nothing surprising of you."

I walked away, doing _everything_ what I could to not look back or start running. After I was in a _familiar room_ again, I leaned onto the doors, slowly falling to my knees. I took a _deep_ breath, I wasn't expecting _myself_ to say that _aloud_ but I just couldn't listen to that-.

"Ugh." I groaned and pressed my head again the door. "What a jerk..."

I heard a knock on my door, I got up, cleaned the white uniform a bit and opened the door.

"Haschwalth." I was... _surprised_ to see him. "What are you doing here?"

He sighed and grabbed my shoulder, squeezing it.

"You didn't have to do that." I frowned.

"I didn't? Then what was I supposed to do, watch as he almost spitted at His Majesty and you?" I gasped in _surprise_ as he leaned onto me and-.

Hugged me?

"Ummm." I was literally _speechless_. "Haschwalth?"

"You don't have to go with the pain." My eyes widened.

"What do you mean?" He sighed and slowly moved away. "I-." He shook his head.

"His Majesty noticed that you are different than before." I looked _into_ his eyes. "I noticed it too. You... We are not like animals, we care about each other, we are family." I looked away for a moment. Then my eyes returned to his face.

"I'm sorry I made you all worry. Maybe it's just... I don't know, a phase? Maybe I should just rest for a bit..." I ran my fingers through my hair. He nodded, his _emotionless_ face returned but he was _smiling_ a bit.

"Stop worrying so much." It felt like... I heard it before. I let go of this thought and laid down on the bed. "Rest now."

 _ ***cookie***_

 _"How long he's been unconscious?"_

 _"It's over a month."_

 _I can't see._

 _"Shit... Isn't it too long?"_

 _"We don't know how long he should be comatose."_

 _Someone shut the door._

 _I still can't see._

 _"Is he going to die?"_

 _"We don't know..._

 _Yet."_

 _ ***cookie***_

I got up quickly and felt the _shiver_ , the _cold_ and _stress_. What was that dream all about...?

"What's wrong, Ichigo-sama?" I looked at my hands, Haschwalth grabbed my shoulders. "This is the reason why you are not yourself, right? Those strange dreams..." I shook my head.

"It's nothing to worry about, I really mean it."

"If it wasn't, then why would you look so stressed after waking up?" I bit my lip. "Today you are going to talk about it with His Majesty-."

"His Majesty has other, more important things on His head."

"He cares about you. We all do."

"Bazz-B doesn't." He shook his head.

"He is just... kind of disappointed and angry. But it will pass."

"I hope so. You looked really troubled when he screamed at you." He blinked twice.

"Did I...?" I smiled a bit and hugged him _tightly._

It really felt like home.

 _ ***cookie***_

When Haschwalth made his mind, I could do _nothing_ to make him change it. I _slowly_ opened the door to the throne room.

His Majesty was sitting on His throne as always at that exact time. He was holding some document, one of His hand was laying _comfortably_ on His cheek.

I walked to the window and looked through it. I tried to _distract_ myself: the trees were still covered in snow, everything was covered in snow. It was slowly getting colder and colder, soon _The War_ would began...

"You seem oddly quiet today." His Majesty told me. My eyes looked down, not like He could see it. "Did something happen?"

"No." I _quickly_ replied. Then I remembered what Haschwalth said about lying and thought for a minute how to correct myself. I took a _deep_ breath and corrected myself. "I just... I was surprised, that's all."

"Do you trust me?" I stopped. I looked at His Majesty. He was watching me.

"Of course I trust you. How could I not? You're the one who saved me. It's... A surprising decision to choose someone that no one knows."

"Come here." I _quickly_ obeyed standing in front of His Majesty. "As you said, I am the one who saved you." I nodded. "I am the one who made you 'My Kaninchen'. Do you know what rabbits should do?" I nodded and said:

"Be good and listen to-."

"You were good today." His Majesty said and grabbed my right hand, hidden in a cape. He squeezed it and I sighed. "As always, My Kaninchen. And what is that face for?" He _touched_ my cheek and I looked into his eyes.

"I... Feel like I forgot something. Something important." I couldn't understand which _emotion_ His Majesty felt. He said nothing, did nothing for a moment. I closed my eyes feeling _strange_ _squeeze_ in my heart. "Is this wrong?"

He was deep in His thoughs. I waited quietly for anything. Something. He was holding my hand, my two fingers and my cheek.

"I can feel your anxiousness with every beat of your heart." His Majesty said _suddenly_. "And why? Because you do not want to trust your saviour." I shook my head.

"It's not like that-."

"Then why are you questioning my decisions?"

"Because you didn't choose me over some...!" My knees gave up on me but He grabbed me. I wrapped my arms around His shoulders. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't say it so loud." I bit my lip again, I was kind of surprised it wasn't _bleeding_ already. "I had a strange dream today."

"About?"

"Someone... There were some people I didn't recognize. I couldn't open my eyes and they talked about someone being in coma and they weren't sure if that person would ever wake up..." He let me sit on His legs. "And it isn't the first time..."

"Why are you telling me this now and not when it all started?"

"You shouldn't be worried so much about me, you have so much on your head already..."

"My Kaninchen, so worried over so small things..."

After a good half an hour of talking, I got up and felt so much _better_. I didn't tell His Majesty about what happened between me and Bazz-B or me and Haschwalth. He probably knew already.

The maids came after being called and started undressing me from the cape, they'd made sure it wouldn't just fell off so easily so they had a lot things to do.

Then someone knocked and opened the door.

"Uryu Ishida, come here." I tried to _ignore_ them and focus on myself. I _almost_ felt his _breath_ on _my_ neck.

I looked over my shoulder and watched as Ishida kneeled in from of His Majesty holding some vessel.

"With this... The ceremony is over. Your power will awaken soon." His Majesty said. "I'll give you the Schrift. You will have the 'A' letter, just like me." I looked through the window again, not missing the _sharp_ pain in my chest.

 ***cookie***

On the evening, I went to the training course. I needed fresh air.

His Majesty told me that He would like to meet with me later today so I had some time to waste.

I grabbed my bow. No one was going to stop me or distract me, it was too late for anyone to be there.

I felt the cold ice forming on my fingers, my hands, my face, in the corners of my eyes. I blinked once, twice, the ice was still spreading. I took a deep breath feeling familiarial scent and closed my eyes.

"Let me see what your eyes can see, not mine.

Let me see the Future and Light." I said _quietly_ and my fingers let go of the white arrow. I didn't open them yet. "What are you doing?" I asked sensing familiar person.

"I'm sorry to stop you from your training." I cleared my eyes from ice, fingers too. I looked at Uryu Ishida.

"What do you want, Heir?" I asked feeling my stomach _twisting_.

He said nothing. I turned back and looked at him.

"Is it really you, Kurosaki?" I frowned.

"What do you mean?" He shook his head.

"Is it a beautiful bow." I narrowed my eyes.

"Don't change the subject." He looked at me and I recognize _that emotion._ _Pity._

"If you want nothing, I shall leave. His Majesty is waiting for me." He nodded, didn't stop me.

Something was _off_ in the air, I felt it.


	3. Keep my head above water

I sighed. That man, Ishida Uryu, I had to keep an eye on him. I have already told Haschwalth how I feel about the new _heir_ , he agreeded with me. So I wasn't alone in it. I trust His Majesty of course. And I would _never_ deny His Majesty's decisions.

I allowed the maids to take my coat off my body and lead me to the bathroom.

After a hard day, it is always _nice_ to let everyone else make you forget the _bad_ aspects. Expecially after that _one man_...!

"Is everything alright, Ichigo-sama? Do you need anything?" I looked up at one of the maids. I shook my head and let them again do their job.

"Violetta." I spoke up. "Could you bring me some hot chocolate? I think it might warm me up more." She smiled and nodded.

Some of Stern Ritters did some _disturbing_ _things_ to their maids or just Quincies who had a lower rank than their had. Expecially Bambietta. But she is a good person most of the time so I don't mind it... _Sometimes_.

I sat down on a bed and grabbed the porcelain cup filled with warm dark liquid. I closed my eyes in a _bliss_ , I've forgotten how much I liked chocolate.

"Do you need anything else, Ichigo-sama?"

"No, you may leave." I took another sip.

I was _enjoying_ my free time when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." I answered and quietly watched who was disturbing my little time alone.

I didn't expect Haschwalth to see me. I stared and our gaze met. He bowed silently, I did too. He moved to the bed where I was sitting, he kneeled.

"His Majesty ordered me to watch over you and tell you everything about the incoming war." I nodded again. "Can I?"

"Don't worry about it. Sit down with me."

He obeyed and started talking to me.

"Do you remember anything about your childhood?" I... Was a little _shocked_ at that question. I had to think for a moment.

"Just my mother but everything is fuzzy. It was a long time ago."

"There is something more." I nodded, showing him that I was ready. "When you were young and wanted to be on the top of the world, you were kidnapped by Shinigami.

At first you believed it was nothing special; you've met one of them and she gave you her powers, then she was taken away. You wanted to save her. And then... You fought with everything you had.

But it was a trap. They wanted you to come there so they would never let you see the daylight."

"If they wanted to hid me away, then how I am here?" I stopped his speech.

"His Majesty's powers and decisions are unlimited. But I won't tell you about it, this is His Majesty's story to tell." I nodded and waited for more. "There was a war, they convinced you to fight for them. But His Majesty fought off their power and cleaned your mind."

"I'm not surprised." I admitted. "His Majesty always cares about His family."

"Yes." Haschwalth got up and glanced at me. "Sleep well."

"You too."

 ** _*cookie*_**

I was staring at the ceiling. It was almost midnight, maybe even a few hours after midnight. I couldn't _sleep_. I turned on the left side and stared at the wall.

The first time in my life I had a _doubt_ in my _heart_ about His Majesty. I felt it _piercing_ and _cracking_ my trust. I don't even know _why!_ I was so _frustrated..._

I huffed and turned on my right side, closing my eyes. I tried for something that felt like an eternity but _still_...

I couldn't.

I sighed and got up. So _frustrated..._

 ** _*cookie*_**

I was starting to think that it was a _bad_ idea. I felt kind of... _Lost._

Don't know how, but I was staying in front of the balcony. I grabbed the cold knobs and pushed it.

The cold wind welcomed me. I closed the doors and looked at the view.

It was _stunning._ It took my breath away and the refreshing snow was slowly covering every corner of the roads and myself. I watched as the snow was slowly falling down and down on my hand. I took a calming breath.

I liked the cold weather. Most of the Stern Ritters loved summer _much more_ but I was... Different.

His Majesty _loved_ it too. We talked about it on the cold night. Another calming breath...

It was _impossible_. His Majesty _wouldn't_ lie to me.

Suddenly I felt _sharp pain_ , I grabbed my head and closed my eyes.

 ** _*cookie*_**

 _I watched like I wasn't there. Like I was watching from the third person, like I was observing myself._ _Ichigo who I didn't know was staring at some badge which had a skull on it._ _"I trust you, guys." I heard him say. He looked up in the sky. "I know that you are watching me from there. And I know that one day I'll be standing next to you because I won't live forever. It's not like I want to live forever after all. But anyway..._ _I feel like I have to wait for something but at the same time I want to fight. I know I can._ _I know now that one day I will have to fight with an enemy worse than Aizen. I just feel it._ _And I'll be ready, I promise you I won't fail you. I will protect this World, the Soul Society and Hueco Mundo. I will protect everything I can._ _I will protect my friends from everything. I will. I will fight-."_ _The scene changed to something I recognize too well._

 _"So you feel it, Inoue?" I was standing in front of the door which was leading to the Throne Room._

 _"Yep..." The_ orange haired girl answered him.

 _They talked for a moment or two and he opened the door._

 _His Majesty-._

 ** _*cookie*_**

 _I opened my eyes and I was moving but I wasn't walking. I moved my gaze to my hand which was holding someone's uniform._

 _It wasn't His Majesty. I didn't recognise this person._

 _"Shh... Go back to sleep, Ichigo. You have to rest." I tried to understand but that person was holding my body and transporting it somewhere. I was too tired to think, to feel, to-._

 ** _*cookie*_**

 _I was under water. I could breathe._

 ** _*cookie*_**

 _I was laying in the bed. It was soft. Warm. Welcoming._

 _" Rest for the night. I will watch over him."_

 _"No. I have to make sure he is safe."_

 ** _*cookie*_**

 _"Stop it! Stop, he'll die if you move him!"_

 _"Shut up, Shinigami. His Majesty wants him."_

 _Buzz-B..._

 _"Stop!"_


	4. Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes

Thank you for the support. It feels nice to read on a bad day.

Merry Christmas everyone! And if you don't celebrate - have a good day!

* * *

25.12.2018

* * *

I woke up alone in my room with a warm blanket over my body. My eyes felt sticky and I couldn't open them. My head hurt. I felt... Kind of empty inside and outside. I sighed and lifted my already too heavy arm and cleaned my eyes. I opened them.

It was dark and I couldn't see much. I closed them and let my body take another restful hours of sleep.

I woke up to somebody opening the door.

"Are you awake yet?" The maid asked me quietly. I nodded lightly and she came closer. "Don't move too much. It was a hard night."

"What happened? I don't remember it." I admitted. She shivered a bit and shook her head.

"His Majesty's forbidden us to tell you, I'm sorry. You should ask His Majesty about it if you want to know." I knew it was pointless to ask her again. It was no use, she wouldn't tell me or she didn't even know. So I waited for her to bring me my meal.

"I hope you'll like it." She left and I looked at it, I didn't really feel hungry. But I ate anyway.

I laid down again. I really wanted to know.

I got up slowly, I noticed that my lower side of my chest was covered in bandages. Some of them were starting to fall off so I slowly put them away.

My stomach had two scars.

One of them was hard to notice. It was almost blank. It was the first time I saw it. I traced my finger over it. It wasn't really standing out, it didn't hurt. I wonder from where it came for... It reminded me of something blue...

The second was more noticeable. It was still slightly bleeding but not really. It didn't hurt, I frowned at it. I shook my head. I went to the bathroom and grabbed new bandages. Of course I had the maids who would be more than happy to help me but I wanted to do it myself.

Before I did it I touched it lightly. Immediately I saw His Majesty's face-.

* * *

 _"...And what of this 'despair'?_

 _I know it all too well..._

 _Because up till now..._

 _I've climbed up, kicked it in its' teeth and..._

 _Surpassed it over and over again just to make it to this very moment!_

 _BAN_

 _KAI!_

* * *

"Tensa Zangetsu." I said aloud, not really knowing what did it mean. I frowned at that words. 'Heaven Chain Slaying Moon'? It sounded...

 _Miserably._

I shook my head lightly, still feeling kind of _nauseous_. I slowly closed the bathroom's door and left my room.

"You shouldn't be up, Ichigo-sama!" I looked at one of my maids.

"Where is His Majesty?" I ignored her going to the door.

"Please, stay here, His Majesty has already left!" I stopped and looked at her.

"Where?"

"His Majesty left to see the traitors, to the prison."

"Why? Wait, nevermind, I'm just going to see Him." She tried to stop me but she didn't succeed. I allowed her to dress me in something warmer and better for this time of year and went to the exit.

"Where do think you are going?" I looked at Haschwalth.

"To His Majesty."

"You are not allowed to go there and you know it." I sighed, feeling _irritated._

"Okay, listen, I had a really bad night, didn't sleep really well and I need to see Him, no matter what." He grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"Don't make me force you to obey." I _growled_ quietly.

"Don't fight. I don't like fighting." I looked behind me and saw His Majesty. I tried to say something but He stopped me. "Don't. Come with me." I didn't protest and slowly followed Him.

* * *

He sat down on His throne. I stood in front of Him and silently watched Him.

"Is something wrong?"

"Did you dream today?" His question made me a little bit _nervous._ Don't know _why.  
_

"Not really, just some stupid thoughts." He touched my cheek and I looked into His eyes.

"It is bothering you." it wasn't even a question.

 _A statement._

"What is 'Tensa Zangetsu'?" I couldn't read His expression. He still had the same face as usual.

"Nothing for you to worry about." I don't know why but I felt _rage_ boiling deep inside my body.

 _Strange._

"Go rest for now. Soon it will be time."

"Time for...?"

"Time to bring ourselves to Heaven, a place where we should be all along."

* * *

I was watching the sunset, the sun was slowly hiding under the horizon. It was... _relaxing._ The cold wind forced me to hold onto my coat tighter.

Then I heard something.

I looked at the small source of the sound. It was small and black. I slowly got up from my favourite spot and walked towards it.

"Oh..." I commented aloud. I touched the fur of the black cat who was bleeding from its paw. "Poor thing... Who did that to you?"

It looked at me, like it was trying to tell me something.

"Stop that. Let me help you." I said while it kept to scratch me lightly. I huffed and laid the small cat against my chest, covering it with my warm coat.

I opened the door to my room. I tried to slowly lower that cat onto the bed but it bite me! Acting on instinct, I moved my hand immediately. I looked at my finger but it wasn't bleeding.

"You're such an annoying cat." I sighed feeling _irritated._ I took a cloth, soaked it in a warm water and went to that small beast. "I just want to help you, you irritating cat."

It didn't make a sound while I was washing its paw. It was looking at my face, I felt... like I was missing something. But I didn't care much.

I was covering the paw with some bandage, so the cat wouldn't do anything stupid, when maids came to give me dinner. After that accident, I couldn't leave that room much. I knew it was for my safety but it was so annoying, even more than that cat.

"What it is?" Someone asked.

"I've found it. It's a cat. It's staying here." I added when she gave me _that_ look. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes..." She didn't sound excited. But I didn't care.

"Can you bring something for the cat to eat?" I asked.

"No. Not until His Majesty decides what to do about that... thing." She sounded disgusted.

"It's just a cat." I frowned.

"His Majesty will decide."

"Then I'm not going to listen to any of you but Him."

They left.

"Probably going to His Majesty to tell Him how bad I am." I sighed looking at cat. "But don't worry, I'm not leaving you behind." I smiled a bit and grabbed it, laying it on my chest. I slowly moved my fingers through its fur. "It's not like... Nevermind."

I laid it on the other side on the bed and grabbed my plates.

"Can you even it this?" I don't know why I waited for a response. "Eat whatever you want. I'm going to sleep for a bit." I said while yawning. "'Night."


	5. Another one bites the dust

"I think your new name will be Yoruichi. I've found you just before the night and you are alone. Totally like me." I smiled sadly. "What do you think about it?"

It moved its head on my lap. But still didn't answer me. I wasn't surprised, why should I be? It was just a cat. And cats don't talk.

"You like it, don't you?" I stroked the fur. "You're so fluffy..."

I was watching another sunrise. Since yesterday, I ate nothing. I was making sure that at least Yoruichi ate something but I didn't want to eat at all.

"His Majesty is a good person but..." I looked away from the outside when she almost scratched me. "I feel like me being with Him is right, like it's just being near the daylight..." I looked through the window again. "But sometimes it is like the walking in the delirious night. You know nothing and you fear your own shadow..."

"But He's good too. Like when-."

Someone knocked on the door.

"Come in." It was His Majesty. "You didn't have to knock. It's your room too."

"It has been a while since we were alone, except for that-."

"Why do you mind it? It's just a cat. You always leave me alone and it needed help. What did you expect me to do? Leave it do die?"

"Thinking like I teached you." He wasn't shouting. His voice was like normal. But this words...

It hurt more than it should.

"It needed help." I tried to explain myself.

"It did not." I lowered my head to look at the cat. I shook my head.

Of course it needed help.

"I don't care." The silence was almost killing me. He was staring at me but said nothing. So I continued. "I won't leave anyone or anything behind just because he, she or it is weaker than me. If you were thinking like that, you would leave me too." I looked into His eyes. "If you let everyone around you die, you would be alone to the end of the world. If you don't need anyone who's weaker than you then what am I doing here?!" It felt like I unleashed the emotions that I didn't know even existed.

It hurt.

"Be careful what you are saying to me." I shivered a bit. "Because it will not be hard for some Katze to murder a Kaninchen." He left saying that. I watched Him close the door. I laid my head on my knees.

"Not the best first impression, huh?" I asked my cat as I laid down trying to control myself. "He's not that bad you know... I suppose..."

* * *

Yoruichi was silently watching me as I was slowly dressing myself. Not even one maid came to help me with it. Maybe His Majesty's told them to leave me alone for now. I didn't mind. Okay, I minded only the one thing. I was starting to get hungry but I was too prideful to ask anyone to bring me something. I didn't want to talk or be with anyone. Just them being in the same room as me was giving me a headache.

I wasn't leaving anywhere. Or I wasn't planning on that I should say. I was only allowed to take my cat out for a few minutes and that's all.

It's been a few days since that... talk with His Majesty. He hadn't talked to me nor visited me even once.

Haschwalth came once. It wasn't a long visit but it was something. He wasn't happy about what I said or did but he went to me and I really enjoyed our small time together.

"It's a cold day, don't you think, Yoruichi?" I heard nothing. I looked around but I couldn't find her. "Yoruichi?"

I felt a small panic rising in my chest.

"C'mon, don't play with me right now..." I searched the whole room and stil...

I looked through the window and noticed her on the other side.

"Oh no, don't do that." I slowly moved towards her but she was already jumped.

I quickly moved to the window and found her standing on the grass. I didn't think much, not even grabbing my coat, I ran to the exit.

If she was playing with me, it wasn't funny. At all. I ran after her and when I was thinking I've finally got her, she was way before me.

"Stop playing with me!" She ran into one of the building that I've never been in before. I slowed down and my eyes widened.

Prison.

The place where I was forbidden to go.

"C-C'mon Yoruichi, we can't be here, if His Majesty finds out-."

"Stop talking like that!" I froze when the cat wasn't a cat anymore. It was a woman with a black skin and-. "Let's go, you have to help me free the rest so we can get out of here!"

"Who are you and what-?!" She pulled me closer and she started running. "Wait, I don't understand!"

"I'll explain everything later." Before I knew what was going on I was facing the big cell with people in it.

"Ichigo!"

"Kurosaki!" I flinched when woman's hold tighten on my arm. I wasn't looking at the people in the cell, I didn't feel like I wanted to, like there was something blocking my vision.

"We don't have time for reunion." She said and turned me towards her. "Where are the keys?" She asked softer.

"I... I don't know, I've never been here before." I admitted.

"Shit." She cursed and shook her head. "Have he ever told you anything about this place?"

I furrowed my brows.

"He... Once told me that the key doesn't exist... Because it could open only by a Quincy. And the Quicies never go to prison."

"Can you try?" Some man with a blonde hair asked.

I grabbed the handle and closed my eyes.

Some voice in my head was screaming at me because of everything I was doing, how could I betray my friends and help the enemies? But they seemed familiar, I don't even know why! I felt the cold feeling in my heart when another things popped in my head and-.

"Good job." She said and took me out of their way.

The other people quickly left the prison and she grabbed my hand, forcing me to go with them.

"Why are you taking me with me?" I asked while trying to break free.

"Why? Are you dumber than I thought you are?!" Red haired man shouted at me.

"Shut up, Renji, we don't have time for that, Urahara, open the gate!"

They quickly made it to that gate and dragged me along. I turned around and saw Him.

His Majesty.

"What do you think you are doing, Shinigami?" I felt my blood running cold. They were Shinigami!

"You've lost this time, Yhwach." someone said and I was forced into the gate, my eyes still staring at the distance where His Majesty stood.

* * *

We landed after a few moments in a place I didn't recognize. I landed on my knees and I felt myself shaking.

Was I kidnapped?

Or did I run away on my own?

Somebody placed their hand on my back. It wasn't comforting. It was reminding me of what I've done.

"Ichigo, let me take you somewhere nicer, alright?" She asked me but I didn't know what to do anymore.

I didn't even notice when I was laying in the bed when sleep was forced onto me.

* * *

"He's different! I can't even say I know him anymore!"

"Don't be surprised, he was with that freak for years!" I was laying on my side wishing that wasn't reality.

But it was.

I looked down and noticed that I was holding onto something. I moved it away slightly and noticed it was a teddy bear.

I closed my eyes and held it tighter. My chest hurt, my legs hurt, my head hurt, everything hurt.

"Was he brainwashed? He was, right? He wouldn't let anyone change him like that!"

"Renji, stop that! You don't know what happened to him or-!"

"Can you two stop?" The silence welcomed the room. "You're scaring him." I didn't move. I tried to calm my racing heart but I couldn't.

Someone walked to me and sat down.

"You should leave for now." I heard the rest leaving the room. I was left alone with someone I didn't know.


	6. We are young but we have heart

It's been a long time, too long for my liking without His Majesty's wings around me. I felt _alone_ which never _ever_ happened when I was with Him. I could not stop thinking about it. I _wanted_ to go back to Him.

I _needed_ _to._

The Soul Reapers have locked me in one of the rooms in that strange place I was forced to call 'home'. From time to time someone came to me, gave me food (which I didn't even touch) and left. Maybe I was at their mercy but I _would not_ let them feel like they could control me.

At the same time I must admit that... This place felt familiar. Too familiar. I _hate_ that.

I sighed.

I _don't_ _want_ to be here.

"Are you up yet?" Somebody asked but I did not even look up. "Silent treatment, huh?"

That person, _Urahara Kisuke,_ probably _the worst_ person of Soul Reapers

Special War Powers.

 ** _*cookie*_**

 _"Who is this man?" I asked one time._

 _"This is Urahara Kisuke. Special War Powers, our enemy." Haschwalth stated._

 _"Why is he so special? He looks harmless."_

 _"Do not let your eyes fool you. His special power is 'Unknown ability'."_

 _"What does it mean?" I frowned._

 _"His abilities can outmaneuver his opponents by perpetually adapting his battle strategy._

 _He can adapt to everything, no matter what the situation was."_

 ** _*cookie*_**

"You don't have to be like that, Ichigo. We want to help you."

"Then help me get back to Him." I said but my eyes were locked at my knees.

"I wonder what they did to you." He commented and laid down another trace with food. "You've changed. You aren't the same person." I said nothing. "If you don't start eating, we'll have to force you, Ichigo."

He was watching me carefully, analysing every breath. But I did nothing. I knew what to do. And what I had to do was to stay awake and watch everything so I could be more useful to His Majesty. Then he left.

I looked through the window. I touched it and I felt the tingling sensation. It was a barrier, powerful. I wouldn't be able to break it...

Not now.

I watched the world passing by. The loneliness was destroying me. I even started missing Buzz-B. I missed them all.

They were my family.

But the most, I was missing His Majesty.

Somebody knocked on the door and let themself in, he sat down next to me. We were surrounded by silence.

"Ichigo." He started. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I do not know what you mean." I said.

"It's hurting me to see you like that."

"It is your problem, Isshin Kurosaki." He sighed at that.

"You're my son. I can't watch you destroy yourself."

"I'm no one to you." I looked straight at the door, away from him. "You may leave. You will not learn anything from me."

"Don't treat me like I'm an enemy." I flinched when he touched my shoulder. "You have to come back. I _know_ you are still there, Ichigo. I _know_ he didn't destroy you." Another person left me.

I didn't understand why they were making so much fuss about it. I was an enemy, the _hey_ to His Majesty's heart but-.

"Em." I looked at the person. It was a dark haired girl. "You have-."

"Don't talk to him, Rukia."

"And what do you want to do, monkey? Sit down and cry like a baby because you think I am somebody else? Sorry to disappoint-, no, I am not sorry. Do what you want to do, I don't care." I said aloud. They stopped arguing for a moment and then the red haired guy came and grabbed the front of my uniform.

"Listen you little-!"

"Renji, stop!" The other person, that girl took him away. They talked for a moment and looked at me. They said nothing, they just grabbed my arms and took me away from my 'prison'.

 ** _*cookie*_**

"My, my, I've never thought I will have to test this on you, Kurosaki-san."

"Urahara, is it save? You've said it could kill him!"

"If he doesn't want help, he is better dead." So called Renji said.

I watched them as they locked my arms on the table, then my legs.

"Don't say it, Renji..." The black haired girl said.

"Since when it hurts a Soul Reaper to kill a Quincy? You've always wanted to execute our nation!" I said feeling _angry._

"Shut your fucking mouth!" Suddenly Renji's hands were on my throat, everything happened so fast and the other Soul Reapers took him away, I forced my whole energy into my wrist and ankles and jumped off the table.

Somebody grabbed me from behind but I knew it before it happened, forcing my weight back, I knocked them down and finished with a kick in the throat, I wanted to end it all but suddenly my whole body was stuck on a wall with a strange tingling sensation over it. I felt the needle and used Blut Vene to avoid the liquid coming in my veins, someone-.

 ** _*cookie*_**

 _I knew I had to fight._

 _For my friends._

 _For my family._

 _For my mom._

 _Yhwach had to be taken down._

 _I had to fight._

 _I had to fight._

 _I. Had. To. Win._

 _When the doors open._

 _I saw Him._

 _Sitting on His throne._

 _Like a fucking God._

 _I felt the power._

 _I felt the pain._

 _I felt like..._

 _Like it all were wrong._

 _I couldn't fight Him._

 _I couldn't think straight._

 _I could do nothing._

 _I couldn't call Him the murderer of my mother._

 _Something went wrong, horribly wrong._


	7. Starry Night

Author's note: I hate it when people say 'life ain't fair' for two reason. It's true and it hurts.

* * *

 **1.024 words**

* * *

After Urahara did something, they forced me to go to 'prison'. I still did not know what he did. I knew He was coming to finish them all, I was glad to still feel His presence but...

Their voices DID sound familiar.

It almost... 'pissed me off'.

I tried to remember where I heard them but everything looked blurry and felt that way. Like something was missing...

But I did not care.

Because His Majesty told me not to care.

* * *

Next time Soul Reapers came to give me food, I requested the presence of their leader. They looked suspicious but I did not care, not really. They wanted to talk to me? Fine, no problem. But then it was to get some answers.

"Well, I must say I wasn't expecting that but can't say I'm not glad." Urahara smirked at me. "So?"

"I didn't know you were the leader." I commented narrowing my eyes.

"Well, I'm not but I'm sure you're glad to see me too." I wanted to roll my eyes but did not.

"You are a bad liar. I know Shunsui Kyōraku was chosen after Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto died." After I said that, somebody knocked on the door.

"Ah, here he is." I looked at two men.

They were both very dangerous men.

"Good morning." I greeted a newcomer.

"Good morning to you too, Ichigo." We did not shake our hands. There was no need to. "I must say I was not expecting that from you. Maybe from your true side but deffinitely not now."

"There is no fake or true side of me. I only serve His Majesty, nothing more." He was disgusted by my words but tried to hide it. "I've heard that Jūshirō Ukitake survived."

"It is true. Is it why you wanted to talk?"

"No. I was just interested, even His Majesty did not see that." Urahara was interested in my words.

"'Did not see that'? So that is his ability?" I looked at him.

"He is a God. He can do everything and you are shocked just by that?"

"Let's not waste our time." Shunsui stopped our small talk. "What do you want to talk about?"

"You should capitulate. There is no way you are going to stop His Majesty. I am sure after a long conversation you can come to agreement."

"That is all you wanted to say?" Both were looking at me.

"His Majesty is good to His people unlike you. He cares about every soldier in His hands. Can you say the same after so many deaths?" There was a long pause. "He is not as bad as you make Him." I whispered.

"He killed our man, Captains-."

"Because they did not see what He sees. You only cared about Soul King who did not care about you. His Majesty cares about everyone."

"You're delusional."

"I just want to live in a better world."

"What has he done to you?" Urahara asked holding my shoulders. "He killed your mother!"

"I do not care. I cannot remember her after all." The door opened.

"So you were right, Urahara." Isshin Shiba said after closing the door. "He made you not remember."

"And here you are again." This time I rolled my eyes. "Anything knew?" He said nothing. He just gave me a glass with some liquid in it.

"What is it?" I asked looking at him.

"Just drink it." I looked at them.

"I guess there is no way avoiding it?" I looked at the liquid and slowly brought it to my lips. Taking a small sip, there was something familiar in it. At the same time it was sweet but not too sweet, and it left a good aftertaste.

* * *

 _"Honey, don't drink it so fast, it's not going anywhere!"_

 _"But moooom!"_

 _"If you promise to keep it our little secret, I'll give it you every day, hmm?"_

* * *

"What is it?" I asked while staring at it.

"Familiar, huh? Your mother always made it-."

"It's honey water. She made that when I was upset." I still did not see her face but I remembered her voice. I shook my head. "But it does not matter, she is dead."

"People truly die when everyone forgets about them."

* * *

That was weird. His Majesty always cared for me but... That was a different type of caring. Lovers cared differently than family. Yeah, she was probably my mother, maybe Isshin was my father, who knows? Maybe after His Majesty comes for me, I will ask Him to leave them? Maybe, so many questions…

* * *

 _It was raining which was weird because it never rained at Soul King's palace._

 _It was pouring._

 _Storm._

 _Ichigo took a shaky breath, one after another._

 _Orihime was laying on the floor, she wasn't moving after last attack._

 _He tried to call her but blood in his mouth was preventing him from doing so._

 _Blood was slowly being washed away by droplets._

 _His breath was slowly calming down._

 _He was dying._

 _There was no denying it._

 _He was thinking about failing his friends._

 _He could not protect them._

 _Then he thought about Soul Society's future._

 _It worried him._

 _But he was mostly scarred of dying there._

 _Alone._

 _Failing to do the only thing he was good at._

 _Protecting other people._

 _What type of hero he was supposed to be?_

 _Tears mixed with rain._

 _Then he thought about his mother._

 _His beautiful, brave mother._

 _She was smiling at him._

 _She knew he did everything he could._

 _She will not judge him._

 _Because that's what mothers do._

 _And then, he heard steps just as he was slowly closing his eyes._

" _They never deserved your help, Ichigo._

 _And now you're here, scared for your own life, regretting everything you did and did not._

 _But fear not, Ichigo._

 _Salvation never comes expected."_

 _He grabbed his shoulder and Ichigo opened his eyes for the last time._

" _Only stupid people feel no fear._

 _I've seen everything, I've watched worlds collide with other dimensions._

 _It is no different than a dream._

 _In my new world, there will be no fear for you to feel._

 _The only thing you have to do is ask."_


End file.
